Brother Michael, Auntie Gin, Open the Door and Let Em In
Oh. My. God. Or maybe Jesus. I can't decide. Moments, and I mean literally 3 minutes, ago we got a knock on our apartment door. Unexpected knocks are very, well, unexpected for that matter here at our apartment. Christopher on the phone, and I on the computer. When we heard the knock, we both looked at each other in shock. "Who the hell could that be?" "We don't have friends who visit in the A.M." So with Christopher too scared to approach the door, I ran over and looked through the peep hole.
Two dashing young men stood their in the business coats and breif cases. I thought, hell it's the Liberal party coming to give their wishes and vote for me's, I figured I'd give 'em a chance. Being the morning, I am dressed a little more "casually" than normal, so when I opened the door I recieved a brief look of shock, and a quick glance at my chest. As they checked me out, I checked them out. Liberals they were not. I saw the bible in hand. At this point I was wishing them to be even Conservatives. I have gotten my first visit from Jehova's Witness'.
I stood there awkwardly, trying to cover up as much as possible while one of them read me a scripture. They asked me, "Do you read the bible?" -No. "Are you religious?" -No. "Do you like to read?" -Yes. I love to read. Just not that. Sorry.
They continued for a short bit while I thought of how long this could go on and how I could get rid of them STAT. My options were: to flash them and send them running in moral sin, to tell them the bible is merely a collection of made up short stories collected over the ages by story tellers (which, hey, probably isn't that far off), or to just close the door on them. Thankfully, I think they had noticed the lack of interest and the slight smirk on my face and finished up their schpeel. I told them I was not interested. Door closed. Silent squealing and giggling ensued.
I must say though, that must be a horrible job. Rejection is a terrible thing. No matter what form. The other day at work, I had to do OUTBOUND calls to get people in Ontario to sign up for ads in the yellow pages. I kept track and got, on average, about 3 out of 12 businesses to accept. That, my friends, is a lot of rejection. And even though I couldn't see the people, and it had no direct effect on me, it still brought me down. I told my boss I would never be doing them again. So I can imagine, going door to door, trying to persuade people into something you already know they don't want to hear can not be all that fulfilling. I know there are those J.W's out there though, like any other extremists of anything, who will not give it up and have no respect for your opinion. To sum it up, I have no harsh feelings towards the two men who visited me today. No, I don't want your bible and it's teachings, and they understood and left me to go on my merry way. Or maybe to put on some more clothes
Two dashing young men stood their in the business coats and breif cases. I thought, hell it's the Liberal party coming to give their wishes and vote for me's, I figured I'd give 'em a chance. Being the morning, I am dressed a little more "casually" than normal, so when I opened the door I recieved a brief look of shock, and a quick glance at my chest. As they checked me out, I checked them out. Liberals they were not. I saw the bible in hand. At this point I was wishing them to be even Conservatives. I have gotten my first visit from Jehova's Witness'.
I stood there awkwardly, trying to cover up as much as possible while one of them read me a scripture. They asked me, "Do you read the bible?" -No. "Are you religious?" -No. "Do you like to read?" -Yes. I love to read. Just not that. Sorry.
They continued for a short bit while I thought of how long this could go on and how I could get rid of them STAT. My options were: to flash them and send them running in moral sin, to tell them the bible is merely a collection of made up short stories collected over the ages by story tellers (which, hey, probably isn't that far off), or to just close the door on them. Thankfully, I think they had noticed the lack of interest and the slight smirk on my face and finished up their schpeel. I told them I was not interested. Door closed. Silent squealing and giggling ensued.
I must say though, that must be a horrible job. Rejection is a terrible thing. No matter what form. The other day at work, I had to do OUTBOUND calls to get people in Ontario to sign up for ads in the yellow pages. I kept track and got, on average, about 3 out of 12 businesses to accept. That, my friends, is a lot of rejection. And even though I couldn't see the people, and it had no direct effect on me, it still brought me down. I told my boss I would never be doing them again. So I can imagine, going door to door, trying to persuade people into something you already know they don't want to hear can not be all that fulfilling. I know there are those J.W's out there though, like any other extremists of anything, who will not give it up and have no respect for your opinion. To sum it up, I have no harsh feelings towards the two men who visited me today. No, I don't want your bible and it's teachings, and they understood and left me to go on my merry way. Or maybe to put on some more clothes
posted by Ash D at 11:03 a.m.
12 Comments:
It is unfortunate that I did not answer the door. I would love to know their opinions on masturbation, abortion, homosexuality, euthenasia etc.
Perhaps I should have been the one to answer the door and tell them that my boyfriend and I have a standing date for Sunday mornings. After going out for breakfast we cum home and proceed to have sex for the rest of the day.
GIT out of my life you J.W.'s!
heehhe, i like christopher's approach
last year at my place on pownal, two missionary boys came looking for the preist who used to live in the apt. i currently occupied. these boys were HOT HOT heat. after finding out the priest was not there, they tried to talk to me about god, and all i said was "I don't believe, i think it's all myth, but thank you, and have a great christmas!" hahah
i don't know if i REALLY blieve what i said, but they left. man, were they hot though.
janelle
yeah what's with sending out the hot ones? jeeze. they're just as guilty for using sex to sell. They should make t-shirts:
Selling sex for Jesus!
i'd wear that tshirt
It's about time!!!! You know all about my MULTIPLE EXPERIENCES at my house. It's quite sad, but the Jehova and me used to know each other by name, and she would ask for me when she came to the door. Even though she knew I did not care, she always had a copy of The Watchtower for me. Hehe. I'm so happy you finally had your "first".
Sounds like my summer of 2004 experience. I had Brother Rowan and Brother Shewie come knocking upon my door. They were Mormons and wanted to know if I had, "heard the good word". I was in a playful mood that day, and rather inquisitively said,..."No, what is it?".
I let them talk for awhile, explain their beliefs..(hellfire, damnation, salvation, alienation)..and then I explained my own. That pretty much ended the visit right there. ;)
Before leaving, they asked if any of my friends would be interested in hearing "the good word". I told them, "Not likely guys, sorry". If any of you would enjoy meeting Rowan and Shewie, just let me know. I can send them over for a visit the next time I see them on the street. :)
i totally stole the sellin sex for jesus name for my msn. muhahaha.
janelle
Ok get this
amy lives in a stranger part of town than I do. She is always getting werid vistors. Creepy neighbors wanting sugar, or to borrow 10 dollars, but the worst have been the jehovas(sp i know). She accidently gave them her name on the first visit, so they kept comming back. If she wasn't home they would search the backyard and garage in hopeso f finding somone..anyway flahs forward to a few months later
our cousin Daniel is living with Amy and was just waiting for the jehovas to knock on the door. Daniel is a religous studies guy, he's into everything from joseph campbell to eastern relgions..So when they knocked on the door this time around Daniel was ready! he had a philisophical debate with him and just crushed the guys hopes...finally in desperation the jehovas says "well what if i'm right?" Daniel responds with.."you're trying to save my soul and thats the best you can come up with!"
Check MATE! it was glorious!
I can't get my mind out of the gutter. I mean, they DO send super hot guys. I bet that's a porno plot no one has thought of yet.
"shhhhhh.........come on inside and we can share more then..........."
LOL
that was kinda the plot to the southpark creators late 90's movie "orgazmo!" i think.
lennie
ah, yes, I had forgotten about that one. Thanks Lennie. Still, it would make a great actual porno. With perhaps Jake Gillynhall? Yes, that would be YUMMY!
Outbound is awful. I had an outbound job when i was 15 at Advantage Communications. I wanted to kill myself after a month.... I would have succeeded too if I hadn't gotten fired.
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