Insert "Open-mouthed-one-eyebrow- raised-nostrils-flared-look-on-my-face" Here

Yesterday I had to explain to someone as to why a whale is not a fish.

And then further explain why a mammal can not be a fish either.

Speechless.

No wait. Shocked. Yeah. Shocked.

STOLEN

A sad day has come. It is my fault, I know, because I didn't lock it up. But my bike has been stolen from outside my apartment.

So PLEASE keep you eye out for a GT Palomar, colored GOLD (and kind of sparkly), with a little black and yellow sac on it, a light on front and back, a tail guard, and a bell on the right handlebar with a CBC sticker on it.

I am pretty sure it is the only one of its kind and color in Charlottetown so if you happen to see someone riding it, clothesline the mother fucker and bike it back to my house. And then give them a good kick in the ass for me. I'll bake you cookies.

Ode To My Shower

Long ago are the days,
That I would only bathe,
I would sit in the tub,
And refuse to scrub.

Then I got old,
I began to mold.
And, yes, it was time,
To get rid of the grime.

Soap is now my friend,
And the time that we spend,
Will never replace,
The glow on my face.

Then there was today,
Things would not go my way.
Was it something I said,
Standing 'neathe your head?

You would freeze me, then burn me,
This was no regular teasing.
Has our love gone astray?
I dried off right away.

I suppose I'll forgive you,
For making my lips blue.
You'll always be my special sink,
that makes me not stink.

On Writing

I just finished reading an amazing book that I didn't really think I would enjoy. On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, By Stephen King. Now don't get me wrong, I love Stephen King's fiction and have read many and Deloris Claiborne is the only book that has made me laugh hysterically outloud, I almost couldn't control myelf. So I was being very skeptical about reading his non-fictional "memoir of the craft." Still, I have no idea why I thought that.

But I started reading it at work last week, because it was the only book I had and I friggin' loved it! It started off as him as kid and how he was always writing stories, and when he was a teenager, and when we went to college, and when he got married and had kids and was poor, and when he made it big, and when he was a drug addict, and when he was sober, and when he got hit by a car and almost died, that he was always writing.

And you know how everything you read is essentially a story, in once sense or another. You have a mental picture in your mind and as you're reading, you're playing it out in your mind like a movie and you're the director. Even if it's a text book. There's always and ending to what you're learning about. A math problem has a beginning and an end. So does the page in your biology book talking about how the liver plays a role to your body. There's a beginning and an end. On Writing, has neither. And you don't even care. Because it's just...there. No rise in tension, no climax, no denoument, no real resolution. And still, you don't care. In fact, you love it because it's so different than anything you've ever read. And I know there are more books out there like this, and I want to read them.

He discussed how writing/reading is somewhat like telepathy. The writer is trying as best as he can to describe the story he is thinking in his mind, with words. Words which are never really fulfilling at all. Yet when a reader reads the story, those images and thoughts become transferred to the reader's mind. So it's like time travel telepathy. Does that make sense?

So if you are ever so intrigued, I recommend reading this book. I mean everyone has to write whether you like it or not. Maybe this book will inspire you, or maybe it won't. Hopefully you'll love it, but maybe you'll hate it. Either way, I bet it will be different than most things you've read.

Just Like Peanut Butter

I think my favorite thing to feel is the little pads on the bottom of kitties' feet.

Mortimer...BE QUIET!

In most cases, I do not like hearing the noises from the apartment above. It usually sounds like there is some sort of 8 legged creature running back and forth across the hardwood. Honestly though, I can't figure out. It is definitely a running sound. Heavy foot steps. Back and forth. I never hear the sounds of children, and there is no pets allowed. I mean even when Christopher and I prance around like giddy school girls we don't sound like that. So what is it they are keeping up there?

I would like to imagine it is some sort of half human/half spider thing that isn't allowed out of the apartment so they let it run around periodically for exercise. Or maybe one of them is a tap dancer and practicing a little jig for whomever else lives up there. Or maybe there is no one. Maybe it's a haunted apartment with the numbers 666 on the door and ghosts live in there. Ghosts with a pleasant taste in music of course. All I can hear is Jack Johnson bass lines coming from above right now.

Whatever it is up there making that sound, will remain a mystery. Meanwhile, I will continue to think of indeedly possible theories of what it is.

Stir It Up

How crazy is it, really though, that a plant knows to grow in a perfect spiral order? My plant sprouts a new big leaf every 2-3 weeks, and it just knows exactly how to fall to make the perfect pattern. It looks so simple, but it still boggles my mind. Even if you read some of the science of it,

Roots and young leaves are major sites of gibberellin production. Gibberellins stimulate growth in both the leaves and the stem, but they have little effect on root growth. In stems, gibberellins stimulate cell elongation and cell division. In a growing stem, gibberellins and suxin must be acting simultaneously in some synergistic manner we do no yet understand.
-Campbell, Reece, Mitchell. Biology 5th Edition. 1999.

That doesn't really explain anything, does it? It just creates more questions. For example, "how the hell do gibberellins know what they are doing!"Even the scientist says, "we do not yet understand." Hehe.

When I'm Walkin', I Strut My Stuff

Did anyone hear Magic 93.1 play "Blister in the Sun" today at 5pmish?
Did anyone crap themselves?
Has anyone heard that AWFUL re-make of "More Than Words" originally by Extreme, and now sung by some crappy Frankie J or some retarded name like that?
Don't you love the shape of question marks?


Also, I'd like to nominate Timothy's Coffee Shop in the category of "Best Halloween Leftover Candy Available To The Public"

I am done.