Monday, January 30, 2006

The Ocean Machine is Set to 9

I'm not sure if I have too much to write about, but I have to write something so I don't have to see that face everytime I go to my blog. Think happy thoughts. Happy thoughts like the first time you went into Toys 'R' Us as a kid. Was that not the bestest day? I went to the Flea Market yesterday. I capatalize it, because it is THE Flea Market of PEI. Anytime I go, I expect something really neat and strange and completely awe-inspiring to catch my eye. But it has not yet happened. I think it takes some rummaging and patience. There was a man though who had built his own elastic shooting machine. It was quite remarkable. Holds 20 elastics and you just rotate the trigger in the back and BOOM BOOM BOOM. Talk about time on your hands. I did get myself some goodies while there. There was a Japanese lady who had really nice knitted goods for cheap, so I got a pair of mittens. 5 bones! And how! Then I found The Witches on VHS. A Roald Dahl book produced by Jim Henson. Combination extroirdinaire. And I got Wings Over America on vinyl. Not only does it have three records of Wings' greatest hits, but it came with a poster. I think Paul's wearing lipstick on it. He looks pretty. In other news I've learned Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone" on the guitar. And now before you make fun, you should hear it it first because it does sound cool. I just need to learn how to wail. Like Cassandra preferably. I think I'll go now. Oh and if anyone has a VCR they want to get rid of let me know. VHS is soo making a comeback.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006


Sunday, January 22, 2006

Take Your Protein Pills and Put Your Helmet On

I have just eaten myself drunk. I have filled my stomach to its maximum capacity. 4-6 cups. I hurt, yet feel euphoric. It's amazing that right now my stomach is churning and twisting, dissolving my food and I can't even feel it. Good work Evolution for not putting nerves there. Dad is wildly snoring in front of the TV and it's driving me nuts. But golf is on. I like watching golf. The calm, the quiet, the predictions, the suspense, the PLOP. The commentators voices are always so soothing. Almost as soothing as the man who hosts the late night radio on 104.7. Je loves.

Yep. Still can't move. And a little bored.

A - Age I got my first kiss: 17
B - Band I'm listening to right now: Bowie
C - Crush: Jake Gyllenhal
D - Dad's name: Wayne. David Wayne.
E - Easiest person(s) to talk to: Tomo
F - Favorite band at the moment: Queen
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: Worms
H - Hometown:Crossroads, PEI
I - Instruments: Baritone, guitar, penny whistle
K - Kids: Who knows.
L - Longest car ride ever: Charlottetown, PEI to Chatham, New Jersey
M - Mom's name: Cynthia
N - Nicknames: Ash, Gland, Ho.B, Ashole
O - One wish: Dolphins
P - Phobia(s): Small spiders with long legs crawling on me
Q - Quote: "I'm Ritchie Cunningham and this is my wife. Oprah."- Austin Powers
R - Reason to smile: Dessert
S - Song I sang last: Wake Me Up Before You Go Go- WHAM!
T - Time I hate: Bed time
W - Worst habit(s): Gnawing on my right middle finger
X - X-rays I've had: Teeth and spleen
Y - Yummy food: Cream cheese
Z - Zodiac sign: Scorpio


Thursday, January 12, 2006

I've Been Reading A Lot of Books on Tape

I got a pair of those Crocs for Christmas. You know those ugg-mo sumprem-o, utterly hideous shoes with holes in them that everyone in Charlottetown was wearing this past summer? Yeah those. I did ask for them however, because they are comfy. Sometimes you just can't judge a shoe by it's ugliness. Ma got me a pair and I got her pair. Hers are a nice olive green, you know, a nice blending color. Mine. Hot pink. HOT PINK. Because they just aren't ugly enough.

The color has since grown on me and I have been just wearing them around the house like slippers, since the winter is not the best time to wear them. BUT yesterday was so very nice and I was only going downtown to the gym and then a few blocks to pick up my paycheck. So I took my first venture into the wilderness with hot pink crocs.

Believe it or not, I WAS walking on air. By the way, you have to sing that last sentence like the Joey Scarbury song in order to read it right. So sing. There ya go. Falafil, the crocs made walking such a delight. It's the bare feet on grass for concrete. It made me feel light as a Post-It Note and I am positive I was able to jump a little farther and higher, as I tried to avoid the puddles. I wanted to jump over everything. I walked faster, I'm sure of it, and with a little extra pep in my step.

Unfortunately for today, it is grey and pouring rain. No Crocs for me. I should invent galoshes for Crocs. Yeah. Oh, and I saw ShopGirl last night at City Cinema. You should go. It's funny and nice. Written by Steve Martin, and Jason Schwartzman is hilarious. For best results go watch it in a pair of Crocs.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Brother Michael, Auntie Gin, Open the Door and Let Em In

Oh. My. God. Or maybe Jesus. I can't decide. Moments, and I mean literally 3 minutes, ago we got a knock on our apartment door. Unexpected knocks are very, well, unexpected for that matter here at our apartment. Christopher on the phone, and I on the computer. When we heard the knock, we both looked at each other in shock. "Who the hell could that be?" "We don't have friends who visit in the A.M." So with Christopher too scared to approach the door, I ran over and looked through the peep hole.

Two dashing young men stood their in the business coats and breif cases. I thought, hell it's the Liberal party coming to give their wishes and vote for me's, I figured I'd give 'em a chance. Being the morning, I am dressed a little more "casually" than normal, so when I opened the door I recieved a brief look of shock, and a quick glance at my chest. As they checked me out, I checked them out. Liberals they were not. I saw the bible in hand. At this point I was wishing them to be even Conservatives. I have gotten my first visit from Jehova's Witness'.

I stood there awkwardly, trying to cover up as much as possible while one of them read me a scripture. They asked me, "Do you read the bible?" -No. "Are you religious?" -No. "Do you like to read?" -Yes. I love to read. Just not that. Sorry.

They continued for a short bit while I thought of how long this could go on and how I could get rid of them STAT. My options were: to flash them and send them running in moral sin, to tell them the bible is merely a collection of made up short stories collected over the ages by story tellers (which, hey, probably isn't that far off), or to just close the door on them. Thankfully, I think they had noticed the lack of interest and the slight smirk on my face and finished up their schpeel. I told them I was not interested. Door closed. Silent squealing and giggling ensued.

I must say though, that must be a horrible job. Rejection is a terrible thing. No matter what form. The other day at work, I had to do OUTBOUND calls to get people in Ontario to sign up for ads in the yellow pages. I kept track and got, on average, about 3 out of 12 businesses to accept. That, my friends, is a lot of rejection. And even though I couldn't see the people, and it had no direct effect on me, it still brought me down. I told my boss I would never be doing them again. So I can imagine, going door to door, trying to persuade people into something you already know they don't want to hear can not be all that fulfilling. I know there are those J.W's out there though, like any other extremists of anything, who will not give it up and have no respect for your opinion. To sum it up, I have no harsh feelings towards the two men who visited me today. No, I don't want your bible and it's teachings, and they understood and left me to go on my merry way. Or maybe to put on some more clothes

Monday, January 02, 2006

Coulda Been the Willie Nelson, Coulda Been the Wine

Woowoo! First post of '06! You know what that means? It means when you look at my archives on the side, there is another year of posts added. Lame sounding, I know. But kind of thrilling. In an I'm-easily-amused sort of way. So how was everyone's New Year's celebrations? Mine was good. I hate New Year's to begin with, and the closer December 31st got to January 1st, the more I loathed it. Nothing a few Jell-o shots and some Dance Dance Revolution couldn't fix though. A great time was had indeed.

A good year in all though. Graduated, beached, go-go danced, made friends, moved out, loved seafood, read tons. Have I been spelling "tons" wrong my whole life? Should it really be spelled "tonnes" when using it in my previous sentence? I know I would spell it "tonnes" when refering to an actual number, like "a blue whale can weigh up to 120 tonnes" but when refering to an indefinite amount, a mere estimation, is "tons" the proper spelling? I feel left out of the spelling world. Anywho, this past year had been a relaxing one at that, stress-free. No dark cloud of tests and exams and papers looming over my head. It's been a nice break. It is fun though, to think of exactly a year back and what you were doing. How some things have changed, how some things haven't. Almost seems like none of it ever really happened. Maybe it didn't. Mwahaha!

And on that note, I bid you all a swell year, well let's make that life. I bid you a swell life. And if you're one to make resolutions, don't feel bad when you break it. You so know you're going to.